As someone who lives just about exactly on the divide betwixt North and South (and it's not Watford) I find this exchange rather unedifying, if not downright racist. Allow me to level the playground……….
The way I see it is that Paul has a wholly realistic idea of the significance of his own geographical position, because when you look at a map Cheshire is much higher up than Surrey (or Kent or whatever God-forsaken wasteland Ashley inhabits). Greasy poles are easy when you're firmly established at the top. 
With respect to building larger or smaller boats, I was under the impression that traffic volume and pollution force Ashley to use a bicycle to get to the stagnant puddle he uses for a boating lake whereas Paul has a chauffeur-driven Bentley (everyone in Cheshire has one of these, don't they?). He also has free use of the Manchester Ship Canal to sail. One wonders then what Ashley's idea of a "Whopper" might be – a model wider than the handlebars on his bike, perhaps? I'm holding my breath. 
Oh – and D-Day was seventy years ago so you'll need some very fast-drying glue, Ash………… 
Result? North 3 South 0
Ashley – You should know your place, but I don't want to know your age……………..please!!!!
Paul – OLD do mean what we both are (viz a viz age). Time only runs downhill, Dr Dude.
Both – keep the faith. Your tiffs are most amusing!
Dave M (Dons tin hat for incoming……………)
Edited By Dave Milbourn on 11/01/2014 17:23:10