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Not quite a Darwin Award nominee but a good try.

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Dave Milbourn10/05/2020 16:49:47
3999 forum posts
282 photos

I was reminded today of a tale concerning a certain customer from a while ago. I stll find it funny so I thought I'd share it.

It concerns a customer from the Netherlands [no guessing, please - he's never been on here as far as I know]. He'd pestered Component-Shop for months about everything and anything and they'd passed his questions over to me. I spent hours composing E-Mails and drawing wiring diagrams for him (time was charged to CompShop) but still he kept on making no effort to read or understand what I'd sent. It was certainly not a language issue; like many folk from the Netherlands his English was at least as good as any native speaker, and better than many.

In the end I lost my patience and flatly refused to have anything more to do with him, so poor old Kyje Randall had to pick up the challenge. We sent this customer a repaired P94 to the address he'd given and he replied that the post office in Holland had been unable to deliver it. Instead they'd put a note through his door advising him to collect it from the nearest Post Office. He demanded to know from Kyje why they'd done this and how he was supposed to know where his nearest Post Office was? Kyje did a little 'interactive streetwalking' on Google Earth and replied to our man that a) he was probably out when they attempted delivery, and b) that he would find the Post Office on the ground floor of the apartment block where he lived......

There were others but I remembered this guy particularly.

Dave M

Paul T10/05/2020 16:52:56
7141 forum posts
1204 photos
2 articles

He must work in public relations

Dave Milbourn10/05/2020 17:22:07
3999 forum posts
282 photos

Then there was the man who blagged his way into my workshop, having driven unbidden perhaps 75 miles from his home. He insisted on me checking over his installation of multiple ACTion units in his model and find out why they weren't working. I spent a whole morning - with him wittering on my ear - removed units from the model and tested them on their own, checked connections, replaced cables, fitted a couple of fuses and finally got the whole thing working. At that point he produced a crumpled tenner and shoved it into my top pocket, inviting me to "have a drink on me" then promptly picked up his model and left! A pint of the milk of human kindness, perhaps?

Kyje is under threat of a harsh and cruel punishment if he should ever disclose my new address or phone number to this parasite.


Paul T10/05/2020 17:39:11
7141 forum posts
1204 photos
2 articles

I know your new address and I fancy a couple of crumpled tenners. (hint) wink

Dave Milbourn10/05/2020 18:04:39
3999 forum posts
282 photos

You don't 'arf stick yer chin out doncha, Paul? BTW the guy in the middle has left the building.


John W E10/05/2020 18:20:35
263 forum posts
257 photos

hi there, many moons ago I helped out or hindered on a stall at a Model Show and after the show I was approached by a Club member asking if I had any units to sell from home at half price after the show - I had a hell of job explaining to him I had no connection/work for a certain ACTion Company - I was only helping out and if he required it, he would have to send off for them. He said yes but I would have to pay full price - couldn't get it through to him that I didn't work for ACTion - some people!!!! you cant explain the simple basics to them.

Dave Milbourn10/05/2020 19:42:30
3999 forum posts
282 photos


You've hit the nail on the head there.

My original conversation with the Forum member concerned the folk out there who have a fixed idea of how the world works - or should work - and what they demand from it. We were discussing someone who didn't want to acknowledge any thoughts or advice which ran contrary to the way he'd set things up in his own mind. This rather begs the question "Why did he ask for advice in the first place?" when all he really wanted was agreement.

I remember that show and finding myself being required to haggle over the price of a metal mounting bracket for a 385 motor (asking price £1.50).
"Him over there's selling them for £1.25!"
"Well go and buy one of his then".
"He's none left".
"When we've none left ours are only a quid....." Ta-DAH!!

South Shields, around 2010? Happy daze with Milbs, Bloobs and Riggers.


Chris Fellows10/05/2020 20:17:40
695 forum posts
405 photos

Mind you friends can be a little taxing as well. Took my old Triumph Tiger 750 over to Spain a couple of years back, with my wife travelling in a friends Mini Moke with some of my tools and oil. Another friend had an even older Triumph and didn't think it prudent to take any oil with him - he's one of those who drift through life with hardly a care whereas I tend to worry more and be well organised.

Anyway, he had a problem with his bike and lost quite a bit of oil. Myself and Helen returned from a day trip out to find that he'd used all my oil (not a problem in itself being a friend) but his offer of either paying for it or getting some more (no chance in the part of Spain where we were, it being a specialist oil) never materialised whilst on the trip or since! Bloomin' good job I didn't need any!


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